Trauma

Trauma can come in many forms.  It can be small, insidious and repeats over and over again for years (the little "t" traumas), or it can be large and can take over you and your life (the Big "T" truamas).  Small traumas are ones that we no longer count as trauma, such as small but repetitive comments from a parent regarding their looks while growing up, or having to deal with silent violence of neglect.  The big traumas are the ones that are easily identified and often treated appropriately, such as sexual assault, natural disaster, witnessing or being a victim of violence, and war.  Most poignant example of the big "T" trauma is like 9/11/01 attack.  Whatever the trauma is if left unprocessed and undigested, it can rear it's ugly head when least expected, leaving the individual feeling off balance, out of control and isolated. 

I find that there are many folks walking around day to day with so many traumas that they are not themselves.  The worse part is that they don't even know those experiences have changed them to the core.  These folks lose connections with loved ones and cannot seem to make new ones to replace them, they also find themselves reacting to small, sometimes benigh situations with such anger and frustrations that the response does not seem to fit the stimulus; for example, an adult blowing up screaming at a 3 year old for simplying spilling milk on the kitchen floor. 

 Now, most people say to me, "it happened XYZ years ago!  It doesn't bother me anymore."   Yet, they are engaging in abusive behaviors, perhaps alcohol or drugs, saying to yourself, "Pot is not a drug, besides, its the only thing that helps me sleep."  Or may be it's shopping for some of you, maybe its sex, or may be it binging and purging what you've eaten, or even cutting or burning yourself.  Whateven it is, we can't seem to stop and we feel the need to keep all of it a secret from the ones we love and trust (which adds to the isolation).  Repressing and suppressing memories without dealing with them and processing them only makes things worse (almost like a pressure cooker), and these destructive behaviors are the little valve that lets off steam from time to time to keep the whole thing from blowing up. 

 If you are reading this and finding that it sounds familiar, you probably are dealing with some kind of history of trauma.  You would get significant relief from feeling like you are constantly under pressure and need to act, sometime destructively, and impulsively, with appropriate treatment.  If you would like to further discuss your history and treatment options, please call us at 609-429-0094 or 908-419-8931and make an appointment for initial consultation/evaluation.